Being a Parent Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry.

As a parent, I’ve taken on the role of the person who thinks that basic human rules don’t apply.

Meaning, I am that person who will leave an item from my shopping cart in a random place on a shelf once I’ve decided that I don’t actually want to buy it.

I am that person who says, “If you don’t stop whining right now, we are going to leave this store,” very loudly and does not care if anyone hears me breaking my promise.

I am that person that sits in my car, taking a break, when you’re waiting for my spot in the parking lot.

I am that person that believes that the rest of the world should stop what they are doing and not make one teensy eensy peep within a 30 yard radius because the BABY IS SLEEPING and if you wake him up I WILL HURT YOU.

Polite society is out the window because there is no hope of regaining any status. Anything that causes me more trouble than I already have, juggling two kids, is now not my problem. Instead, it’s yours. There’s something that happens when you’re required to wake up at 3:30 am on a Monday and be a parent for the next 17 hours. You just don’t give a squat what other people think.

So there are some benefits of being a parent.

Unfortunately, in my case, parenting has had a down side. Well, let’s say it has multiple sides, around the sides, and then maybe some in the middle and in the back too.

Thus, I am on a diet.

For the last week I have been hating hunger, not just because being hungry sucks, but because whatever I have to fill that hunger seems gross. If I look at one more egg or red bell pepper I will completely puke. Not cooking and eating my favorite things makes me angry and bitter and if you utter one helpful word like “Good job! You’ll live through it!” or “You don’t even need to go on a diet!” I will probably lash out at you no matter what angle you take. Just warning you, Love.

For Father’s Day we cheated. Ok, so it turned into the weekend. On Saturday night we went to Stage in Honolulu and had the dessert sampler plate (divine), along with another chocolate dessert (too stuffed to enjoy it except for the caramelized banana balls and caramel popcorn ice cream!!!, but we did take it home). Their pastry chef is some kind of wizard.

Sunday I made some Macadamia Nut Chicken, from Sam Choy. This is my favorite way to eat chicken, period. It was the first recipe I really pulled off successfully as a college student, and I clipped it out of a Hawaiian Airlines inflight magazine. I couldn’t believe what voodoo magic cooking was. This is how I interpreted it:

1. Follow the directions.

2. Food turns out delicious.

3. Everyone thinks you are a genius.

When I went to Sam Choy’s restaurant a few years ago, I ordered the Mac Nut Chicken, just to see, probably out of some vain belief that I had done better.

(I did.)

It’s probable that the restaurant had Sam Choy’s original recipe, but then took some liberties (aka “shortcuts”) and the Mac Nut Chicken has never been the same.

But here it is, for you, in all its glory. Please try it, for me.

And remember how good it is with rice. Sob, sob. (Ok, so I had 3 tacos today, plus I’m cheating on Saturday for Amaya’s birthday. As you can see, I’m very committed.)

Macadamia Nut Chicken with Tropical Marmalade

Print this!

(adapted slightly from Sam Choy’s Recipe)

serves 4-6

The chicken stays very moist, which is a must with chicken breast. I changed some of the measurements with ingredients because I found more success this way. I’ve added my own notes in the directions as well.

• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 1 1/2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons mirin (Japanese rice wine)
• 1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger (I use a microplane grater)
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 2 Tablespoons olive oil
• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 cup macadamia nuts, finely chopped
• 1 1/2 cup panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)
• 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 3 large eggs, lightly beaten
• vegetable oil (enough to fill a heavy skillet 1/4” deep)

1. Whisk together the soy sauce, brown sugar, mirin, ginger, and olive oil in a bowl. Put the chicken breasts in a large ziploc bag and pour marinade over chicken, seal, trying to remove all the air from the bag. Chill 1-3 hours, turning occasionally.

2. Combine the macadamia nuts and panko in a shallow dish, I recommend a cake pan. I upped the ration of panko to mac nuts because the mac nuts don’t hold as well to the chicken as the panko and you’ll have all the crust falling off when you fry. Place flour in a separate shallow dish; place eggs in another shallow dish and beat lightly with a fork.

3. Remove chicken from marinade, discarding marinade. Pat dry on paper towels to aid the crust to stick to the chicken. Slice the chicken in half crosswise into 8 pieces as chicken breasts can be quite thick and hard to fry properly (no need to do this if you’re using chicken tenders). Dredge chicken in flour, tapping it lightly to remove the excess flour. Dip in eggs, shaking off excess. Dredge in crumb mixture. Scoop the crumb mixture to top the chicken and try to cover the entire thing. No need to press the crumbs onto the chicken—whatever sticks is just right. I also recommend keeping a dry hand and a wet hand, otherwise you’ll have half of the crust on your hands after a few dips.

4. Heat 1/4” of vegetable oil a large skillet over medium heat until very hot. The shallow fry is better than just a small bit, because the crust will start flaking off and burning on the pan in a shallow fry. Also, this way, you don’t have to keep adding more oil to the pan. Cook 3 to 4 pieces at a time over medium heat. Don’t flip the chicken until one side is golden. Should take 3-4 minutes. Flip and repeat. Place the chicken, when done, on a paper towel to soak up extra oil. Frying breaded chicken takes a few tries to get down—it’s hard to tell when the chicken is done. Cut open the first one and judge whether your oil is too hot (browning before the middle is done) or not hot enough (browned, but overcooked).

Tropical Marmalade

• 1 can pineapple or 1 1/2 Cups fresh pineapple, chopped finely
• 1 mango or 1 papaya, diced
• 2 Tbsp brown sugar

1. Combine the ingredients into a small, heavy bottomed saucepan with 2 Tbsp of water. Cook over medium low heat at a simmer for about 20 minutes, until the fruit has melded together and looks somewhat like a jam. Serve with the chicken.